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Creation Museum Visit Pre-Work

Creation Museum Visit Pre-Work
I am journeying to the Creation Museum this weekend.  It’s like I am challenging myself to pick a fight with a stranger. I am Ken Ham’s smirking revenge.  

So, to better prepare, I thought I’d do a little research. First question: What happened to the dinosaurs? Science disagrees on this point, and I thought it’d be a great opportunity for the Ken Ham and his museum to step in and clear things up for me.

On his blog, he states that evolution has many theories:

Dinosaurs starved to death; they died from overeating; they were poisoned; they became blind from cataracts and could not reproduce; mammals ate their eggs. Other causes include volcanic dust, poisonous gases, comets, sunspots, meteorites, mass suicide, constipation, parasites, shrinking brain (and greater stupidity), slipped discs, changes in the composition of air, etc.

Good to know that God killed the dinosaurs but still allows the straw man to roam free in its natural habitat. After setting up these supposed oppositional arguments, he finally reveals the truth. And it’s not what you think.  You are thinking God just drowned those stupid, nearsighted, coughing, Metamucil drinking, chiropractic needing dinosaurs in the flood aren’t you?  So did I…

If you remove the evolutionary framework, get rid of the millions of years, and then take the Bible seriously, you will find an explanation that fits the facts and makes perfect sense:

At the time of the Flood, many of the sea creatures died, but some survived. In addition, all of the land creatures outside the Ark died, but the representatives of all the kinds that survived on the Ark lived in the new world after the Flood. Those land animals (including dinosaurs) found the new world to be much different than the one before the Flood. Due to (1) competition for food that was no longer in abundance, (2) other catastrophes, (3) man killing for food (and perhaps for fun), and (4) the destruction of habitats, etc., many species of animals eventually died out. The group of animals we now call dinosaurs just happened to die out too.  In fact, quite a number of animals become extinct each year. Extinction seems to be the rule in Earth history (not the formation of new types of animals as you would expect from evolution).

Much like the Ten Commandments, I’m pretty sure this is maybe one idea reworded into several bullet points. So for the sake of clarity lets simplify as George Carlin would. God devised a plan to flood the earth to murder all the humans but rescued two animals a piece on a boat, only to have those animals die because he forgot the world was going to have no food/habitats and have “catastrophes”. Also, let’s throw in humans Buffalo Billing (Cody or Gumb!) all the dinosaurs just to make sure they are good and dead. Plus, that makes humans feel worse about themselves while not making it ALL God’s fault.

I am Ken Ham’s cold sweat.

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About jesuschristpooperstar

Just a couple of bros.

One response »

  1. Jon, I’m beginning to find that as much as I love Dinosaurs and want them to be the lynch pin to taking down god, It may not be the largest animals, but the smallest that present Noah with his most comically-impossible challenge. There are 1388 known species of Dinosaur. As religion backpedals and contorts itself, let’s say that Ken Ham’s brood argues that not all of those species are unique, but some are simply misinterpreted fossils, and some are micro-evolutions (Now Acceptable! Get your Natural Selection today!) of other dinosaurs. Let’s say that number is double the real number, inflated by science, who’s only mission is to produce amazing hollywood movies and bring God to his knees. So there are 694 species of Dinosaur. Some as small as a mid-sized bird, and some as large as a buffalo. (They’re all babies remember? And Noah had no trouble luring a baby Tyrannosaurus away from it’s mother… He had god on his side!

    Animatronic Noah says the number is 50. Science says 1388. I trust animatronic Noah.

    But insects Jon… There are MILLIONS of different kinds of insect. They are tiny, they are impossible to cage or control. They sting, they bite, they burrow under your skin. Deer Tics. As a commenter said above, Pubic lice. Funnel Web Spiders. Hornets. Wasps. Centipedes. Those Iraqi monster spiders that scream when the sun hits them. Fire ants, Jon.

    All sorts of animals. Animals that are literally, fatally poisonous to the touch.

    I’m formulating my thoughts on our trip now. Can’t wait to read yours as well.


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